Things that Make Me Smile

These past few weeks have been soooo busy that I have thought many nights, "oh - that would be a good post...."but never make my way to my computer for long enough to sit and type it out.

Life has been, of course, busy!

So - I planned a field trip for our 4th graders to Chase Field. The AZ Science Center and the Diamondbacks teamed up for a field trip day. It was soooo much work - but in the end it turned out ok. We went on Thursday. I did not sleep much on Wednesday - I was worried about things going wrong, not taking care of things, etc. My students were excited - to say the least!!

On the way up there one of my students (whom I often worry about due to where she lives) was listening to some music. All of a sudden I hear "You make me move Jesus" louder than anything I've heard on the bus so far that day! I turned around and there she is, screaming the words of the song, "Every Move I Make" (waves of Mercy) She didnt notice the first time I looked at her. I just smiled and continued to listen to her singing this song. The second time I looked back she looked at me. When she got off the bus she came up to me and said, "What Miss Pieper - did you not like my Jesus song?" I told her I loved it and she said it made her happy. It was one of those moments where you can see God working where he needs to be in small ways. It made me smile and the rest of the day went (for the most part) flawless.

I can safely assume though, that I will not plan another field trip anytime soon. Although it was not difficult - it just took up those extra few minutes I had every day and at this point I do not have time to spare!

Heres to a good week, with many blessings!!!

Get it - NOW!!!!!

So some of you who read this will know who I am talking about when I reference Steven Curtis Chapman. If not - he's worth looking up if you are in need of a little dose of inspiration.

In May, his 17 year old son accidentally ran into his daughter whom he adopted from China. The accident killed the girl. The family recently appeared on Good Morning America and Larry King Live. Their amazing faith in their time of struggle is profound. I had tears in my eyes as I listened to the interviews. The loss they must have felt is incredible, but how they deal with it was more incredible to me.

Anyway - to my point. he has a song on his most recent CD (which I proudly blast every morning going to school) called "Yours." This song is very catchy and it puts me in a good mood on my drive. After the accident - a new verse was added. It literally gave me goosebumps when I heard it. It talks about the loss of their daughter, and you can hear the passion, sadness and above all assurance in his voice.

The verse says:
"I've walked the valley of death shadow - so deep and dark I could barely breathe. I've had to let go of more than I can bear. And I've questioned everything I believe.
Still even here, in this great darkness - only comfort and hope can bring you through as I can say in life and death - God we belong to you!"

Then the song continues.


So off I went to iTunes to find the new version - and all of the proceeds are being donated to his adoption charity.


I can only imagine how painful writing and singing this is - because it brings tears to my eyes.

Then I cant help but think - if their faith can remain so strong in such a trying time - I surely can overcome what I am being dealt here.

Seriously - if you have not heard it - GO and download it NOW! It's one of the most powerful songs I've heard in a while.

And thats all for one night!

Blessed

I realized that I have not posted anything in 4 weeks!!! If that is any cue to you on how my life has been lately - it is crazy!!

I have felt truly blessed as this school year has started. With as many down moments that have happened - the ups have trumped them all!

* I am working at an after school program 3 days a week for extra pay!

* I am tutoring a student on the side for extra pay.

* I am co-team-leader for the 4th grade teachers at school.

* I have the most amazing opportunities - I just need to grab them and go with them!

* I have the BEST friends anyone could ask for. They are all so different - but all so important in my life.


I feel like this past week has been the LONGEST short week ever!! I feel like I am also running around like a crazy person half the time - scratch that - MOST of the time. This last week has been so exhausting that just when I was about to complain I had to sit back and think. Then I thanked God for all of the opportunities in my life. I appreciate the after school program for the extra pay. I appreciate the opportunity to be a leader within my school. I also appreciate the opportunity to tutor a struggling child.

Although on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays I work 12 hour days....and on Wednesdays and Fridays I still work 10 hour days to catch up from the time missed on the other days - I am managing to do ok.

I apologize if I owe you a phone call, text message or email. As mentioned above - I am about 10x busier this year than last year!! Please be patient - I am just trying to change the world one child at a time. ;o)

Twas the night before school started...

and all through the house...
Melissa was stressin out!!!

I know it doesnt rhyme, but give me a break. I've spend about 25 hours at school in the last 2 days and I think I'm ready. BUT - I dont want to say it out loud - its ok to type it, but the minute I say it out loud - BAM! Everything goes wrong...so shhhh.......

Anywho - I'm attaching some pictures because I am super proud of my room this year. The tiki huts are all Ginger - she helped tremendously! I still have to re-enforce one and trim the other - but they're up!



This is the reading corner - one of my favorite areas!



This is the front of the room with my whiteboard, calendar board and "Jungle Jobs" board




Close up of the "Jungle Jobs"



And - the back wall along with part of my corner



Finally - the front part of the room.




I'm sure there will be little additions, but I'm happy with what I have for now!!

Miss Pieper is ready to go!! :o)

0 to 90 in 1.2

My life went from 0 to 90 in about a week, or at least thats how it feels. And NO - its not the flippin awesome game of Mario Kart I just played on the Wii. That game rocks, I pretty much lost every game to the person I was playing with but it was a great time. I laughed a lot and had a good time!!

I WAS supposed to go to a free Third Day concert tonight up in Mesa with John and Sherrie Rivers from K-LOVE in town. BUT - Ginger decided to ditch me. :o( I know - very sad huh? ah well - maybe we can hit up Spirit West Coast for real this year when we're both not so poor!

I started back up with my meetings for school already. I just completed my "new teacher induction" week. I know you MUST be thinking, "what? She taught last year!" And believe me, I am right there with you. Since I came after school started last year I got to do 5 days worth this year!! Lucky me, I know - not everyone has my good fortune!

Anyway - I've really been living at school - I joked with the teacher next door and just said I might as well sleep here! But - my classroom is read and I dont get kids for another week. I am in a much better situation than I was last year.

Some of the events of my last week:

* I finished my 60 SEI hours!! I took the last 2 days in Scottsdale this weekend. The class was great and some "important" people were in there. I'll just call it fate for now..

* As mentioned above, my classroom is DONE!!!!!!!! Well, I must admit, I am still trying to fix one design flaw. One of my tiki huts is not well supported, so I'm contemplating that. But as far as everyone else is concerned - its done!! yipee!

* I got to spend some time with a friend who I have not seen a lot of lately at these trainings and it was great.

* I also got to spend some time with people I havent seen in a few years at the same training and it was a lot of fun.

* I have laughed A LOT lately. I'm pretty sure I agree with whoever said, "laughter is the best medicine!"

* I found out I cannot start my Masters for the program I want until I have 3 years teaching experience - BUMMER!

* However, this now means that maybe I can think back and entertain the "house" plan - or the Ginger and I get far, far away by moving East plan!

* I saw some very special people last Tuesday night and it was great. It really affirms my decision in teaching and it makes me feel great knowing I am helping others out.

Thats pretty much the extent of it....

I was not able to go to church on Sunday due to my SEI class, and I'm really bummed about it. I dont know if I can keep going to the Bible studies I've been going to because of the drive and with school starting up, I dont know if I can make that commitment. HOWEVER....I just got our church update and the pastor down here is starting a class up on Monday! YAY! perfect solution to my dillema. I love it when God makes it so clear! Now, if I could just get him to make it a little more clear on other aspects of life. - - - KIDDING - - - I know thats not how it works, just a little joke. Everyone can take a deep breath! :o)


Alright - so tomorrow is the first day back for all the other teachers so I better get some rest - I hear I have a 3 hour presentation on behavior plans to sit through! I know - again - I'm just that lucky - I bet you wish you could too!! :o)

You guys who read this rock - I hope everything is going well for you and your baby boy's (except Ginger....)

Annnnd - Ginger if you took the time to read this whole thing - that makes me happy - I was kidding about the comment with you ditching me... call me tomorrow!

I get it now.

I TOTALLY get it!!

This thing called prayer and surrendering everything to God. I FINALLY get it!

I've had a rough weekend with some things I'm still trying to put behind me (mainly the ex) It was a rough night on Friday and through a text message a good friend told me, "just remember to give it to God." Yeah, yeah, I know that, but I really took time to think about it and make it a point to follow this friend's wise words.

So I did. That night I had a long chat during my prayer time. I felt better on Saturday, mainly because I had a busy day. Sunday - even better!

Today could have been a not so good day. I got a phone call this afternoon from above mentioned person and it did not go well. I got off the phone frustrated, and a whole lot of other emotions.

BUT THEN - (this is my amazing, lightbulb moment!!!)

I came home to check my email tonight and I got an email I had been wanting to get from a particular someone for a while. :o) :o) :O) I'm not telling who yet, because thats just too much for one day, BUT - I read the email and just looked up and said, "I get it and Thank you."

I am trying hard to stay true to my "Man Worth Waiting For" book, but sometimes I think I have set my standards too high and there is no one like that left in this world. But I'm hoping that as along as I keep my direct line with God open that things will continue to help me remember that: A)hopefully there is someone good out there waiting to treat me well....and B)I really do need to just give it to God every day and all things will work out.

My mood just changed from sad to HAPPY and EXCITED with one email. Yay!!

The curse is Broken!!

And boy am I ever happy!! It may seem odd to you but I was beginning to get worried and believe I was the "curse"

Ever since the Diamondbacks were created I've gone to a handful of their games. I remember going in High School (the year they won the World Series) and some games in college. Even one last season. Every time I went to a game they lost!!! Every stinkin time!! If it was just one, two, or even 3 times maybe I could understand, BUT - not ALL games!! So, I went to a game yesterday and am happy to report that they WON!!! Not only did they win, I went with one of my favorite people in the world!! :o) It was a good afternoon.

I went into school today and am getting excited for my year to start!! My room looks really good!! Even better than last year and its been fun to set up (with the help of Ginger - thanks again!! ) :o)

I talked to a friend that I met in Washington who is now in another state today and it was great!! I look back and I have met some of the greatest people back in Washington. As much as my life took up and down turns there, I came out with some great friends. You know who you are! :o) Friends that I would meet up with at Starbucks to talk about life, Friends that I can go to teeny bopper movies with and just vent with, friends to go out with and get my mind off life, friends that I can bum around Target with, friends that I can be a bum with and not feel bad, just great friends in general.

I am truly blessed.

The people who read this are the people who have made a huge impact in my life and for that - I thank you. If it was not for you, I probably would not have made it through the many life challenges thus far. :o) you may not think so - but you have been a great friend to me, in the smallest and biggest ways possible.

"I've never seen anyone study paper plates so intently!"

oy.

I dont even know where to start! I'm exhausted, but what a day!!

- I finished the 45 hour SEI training today! Yipee!! Me and another girl went straight up to Phoenix after to the Dept. of Ed to renew our certificates. If I didnt do it today, I probably wouldnt have a job tomorrow! To say I was under a time crunch was an understatement. But then again, I AM a great procrastinator!

- After I got back down to Chandler, I made a few phone calls. Mr. X (from my previous blog) passed away last night. I just feel so sad, and hurt for their family. I know that if he had continued to live he would be in tremendous pain, but he leaves behind 2 kids that are both younger than me. I cannot fathom that. Anyway - I called my pastor and was put in charge of getting a few things from Amazing Grace (Christian Bookstore in Chandler/Tempe...who knows...its on the border, or something)

- Of course I Get sidetracked and go into the Pit that sucks all of my money away from me EVERY time I walk into it. NO - not Barnes and Noble (yet, anyway) - Lakeshore Learning. I went in and told myself I am only getting the 4 things I need. 10 minutes later and I have a cart that is nearing full. WTH??? I do this EVERY time!!!! I need a buddy to go with and help control my bad habits of throwing everything in my cart!!

- THEN, as if Lakeshore wasnt bad enough, I went to the second Pit that sucks all of my money away - yep, you guessed it - Barnes and Noble!!! I was on a mission this time and was going to stick to the 3 books I was looking for. I went straight to the nice man behind the Customer Service counter and asked where they would be. I found them and went straight to check out. I didnt bother looking at the price but Holy Guacamole! They were expensive books. What I do for my career, I tell ya!!

- So, finally, after I give most of my money away to that half of Ray Rd. I get out of that vortex and go to Amazing Grace. I pull up and they're closed! My mouth dropped open and I immediately cursed the bags in my backseat from Lakeshore! Somehow it was their fault!! I had ONE job from my Pastor and now I have nothing!!

- I get my brother on the phone and have him search for a different store that may be my saving grace. He finds one in Gilbert. WTH? Gilbert has shopping centers now? Who knew? Its been a while. So I head out on the 202 and I feel like I'm close to the New Mexico border when I finally get to the new store. (Ok, it wasnt that bad) I find what I'm looking for but call my pastor for approval. He does not answer. I sit on the floor in front of the shelf and wait. Yes, I sat on the floor to wait. I am tired by this point. He calls back 20 minutes later and we decide on what to get.

- I talk to Pastor's wife and volunteer to get some other things necessary for the memorial service. 300 plates and 300 cups!! I thought I misheard what she said. We have a small church, surely she did not say 300!!!!!! But, she did. So, off to Costco I go. I get to Costco, and in line with the rest of my night, its closed! So, back in the car, back to the Wal Mart in GILBERT I go. Heres where my title comes into play....stay with me here:

There is a nice young man restocking the plastic bags at the end of the aisle as I make my way to the paper plates and cups. Pastor's wife told me not to get the flimsy one. I agreed since we will be serving things that are a little heavy. SO, I get in front of the paper plates and I froze! I completely froze! Who knew that selecting 300 paper plates for my church would be such a task!!

Nice gentleman stocking plastic bags down the way notices me. He comes up to my very quietly and says, "ma'am, may I help you or answer some questions for you?" Since I am still frozen it took me about 20 seconds to comprehend what he asked and look at him. I must have had a weird look on my face because he quickly followed with, "I'm sorry, I've just never seen anyone study paper plates so intently. I thought I could help." Bless his soul. He just wont some karma points from me. Its not that I needed help, my brain is tired and the reality of what I am getting these for is settling in. I smile back at him and say "Thank You, but I think I've got it under control." I load in 300 paper plates, then 300 cups and I'm on my way.

I'm pretty sure the guy had a good laugh when I had the first 300 cups loaded in the cart and realized they were too small, so I had to unload them all and load them back in. It is for this reason I went to the Wal Mart there and not here. hahaha - I dont want people I know seeing me do things like that!!

Anywhoooooos....I think I'm going to bed. I'm going into my classroom tomorrow to put those bags from Lakeshore to good use and Jazz up my Jungle.

My summer Book Reviews

I like to read books. Just call me a nerd and get it out of your system so we can all move on!! :o) I look at it as me just doing my part keeping Barnes and Noble afloat during these hard economic times!

I've read a few books this summer and thought I'd share my reviews!

:sTORI TELLING by Tori Spelling:

I REALLY enjoyed this book. Although, I am a bit of a reality show nut, so that doesnt surprise me. It was interesting to read about her childhood and her life. I think she gets a bad rap too much. I enjoyed watching her show Tori and Dean: Inn Love and have watched a few of the episodes in the new one.


:How To Be Single by Liz Tuccillo:

NO - this is not a "self help book" on how to live your life alone and accept life and move on, becoming the old lady with 12 cats and a bird on her shoulder. This is a hillarious book about some single girls in NYC (I know you're thinking its a cheap Sex and the City rip-off but its not) Anywhoooo....the author embarks on a trip around the world to talk to single women in different countries. It was a good read. I loved it!


:Don't Bet Against Me by Deanna Favre:

Great inspirational read. She battled cancer and talked about her and Brett Favre's (who is in the news way too much these days) early days. Including their struggles, separations, his addictions and life in general. I liked reading it because I was brought up with Brett Favre being the only QB in the NFL worth watching so it was interesting to read the other side of the story!


:Reggie White: In the Trenches:

Famous Green Bay Packers player known as the "Minister of Defense" It was a great story about his struggles growing up in an inner city atmosphere, with a single mom until a step dad came into the picture. It was fun to read. He was a pretty funny guy.

:A Man Worth Waiting For:

Currently reading - but I can already tell ya it will be a smash hit!!! I forgot I said I would update it more. My bad. I will do that. Soon. I promise. For real this time.

Faith

You know, I sometimes wonder about people who have absolutely no faith whatsoever. I wonder how they cope with death, sickness and other hard times in life.

I've recently seen an amazing example of faith in trying times:

A family from our church - Family X - is going through an incredibly rough time. I went to visit them last night in the hospital and was amazed at the faith Mrs. X showed. Although Mr. X is not in good shape, she was saying of all of the good that has come of their situation. I admire that even in dealing with what she is dealing with, she has her eye on God, and the good he is bringing to OTHERS in spite of their suffering. It almost gave me goosebumps.

::In other news::

I miss my niece - I havent seen her in over a week.

I've decided that being a "grown up" is not always what its cracked up to be

I'm beyond excited for next Tuesday - I get to see some very special people!!!!!!

I'm sad my summer is officially OVER. Yes, you read it right, OVER!! I really have no more free days until school starts!

I've had a great time at this training, despite the fact it was state mandated and LONG!!

I've laughed a lot these past 2 weeks - more than I have in a while and its been GREAT!

I think I am going to bite the bullet and start my Masters! yikes!

And - ummmmm.......I think thats all for now..........

Oh WAIT!!! I almost forgot........

I hit a bird on the freeway this morning!!!!!!! OMG!! I have NEVER hit anything driving and I just sat there and stared at my passenger (for a quick second so I didnt kill us too) and didnt know what to say! We both saw the feathers fly by behind us! I felt soooo bad!!!! We just looked at each other like WTH just happened???? oy.

Just another Saturday

So...today was a fun day. I was able to spend some time with a friend who happens to be a fellow teacher at my school. As many changes that are happening with our school and the teachers there, and as worried as I was that it was going to be a rough year, I am excited about a new year. I think we'll do just fine!

Speaking of school - I am sooooo excited about my classroom - it is going to rock this year!! I am going to post pictures when I am done with it because I am pretty sure everyone who reads this (all 3 of you) will want to come straight back to 4th grade!! lol...

And now for the "Jesus reference" as one person put it. (yes, there will probably be one in most of my posts, get used to it, its me!!)

My parents brought the shadow box that I made of items from my grandpa back from Flagstaff. It was good to see again. I made it in Wisconsin with one of my cousins as we remembered all of our good times with my grandpa. It sill is hard on some days. Sometimes it doesnt seem real. Some days I expect that when I call my grandma that he will be there too. But, it is real, he wont be there, and that is what I have to get used to.

My grandpa was a very religious man. I recently learned that after he was Confirmed, his pastor tried to convince him and his dad that he should be a pastor himself. I know that his faith was very important to him. He wanted one of his Confirmation Hymns to be sung at his funeral. So we did. And, I was thinking about that song today and looked up the words and really like them. It kind of ties into my post about the Bible Study on Thursday and just keeping my head held high while Jesus leads us on.

The song, appropriately enough, is called "Jesus Lead Thou On"

Jesus, lead Thou on
Till our rest is won;
And although the way be cheerless,
We will follow calm and fearless.
Guide us by Thy hand
To our fatherland.

2. If the way be drear,
If the foe be near,
Let not faithless fears o'ertake us;
Let not faith and hope forsake us;
For through many a woe
To our home we go.

3. When we seek relief
From a long-felt grief;
When temptations come alluring,
Make us patient and enduring;
Show us that bright shore
Where we weep no more.

4. Jesus, lead Thou on
Till our rest is won.
Heavenly Leader, still direct us,
Still support, control, protect us,
Till we safely stand
In our fatherland.

I dont know that I could pick a favorite verse. Truth be told, I do like all of them. I do like how the last one closes though - We ask for direction, support, control and protection until we safely stand in our fatherland.

Hmmm - I feel peaceful again. I am so happy that I am at this point in my life and a simple song can calm me and redirect my focus. If it was not for my faith, I suppose I would be going down a different path.

Now I'm just rambling. Let me take this opportunity to blame it entirely on Ginger! Had she not gone away to play "Camping Cathy or Hiking Holly" I probably wouldnt be so bored! lol

Random...

* I am only one day into a 6 day state mandated training for my certificate. Yuck

* I have been making a lot of progress in my "Man Worth Waiting For" book. More updates on that to come later.

* I finally met one of my best friends best friends tonight! It was fun.

* I am perfecting making drinks on my Espresso Machine. Yum.

* If I could go to church 5-7 days a week, I probably would in some form (Bible Study, etc.)

* I wish I lived closer to Chandler/Tempe

* I have spent way too much money at Barnes and Noble this summer. (My defense is I am wiser for it though!)

* I need to go to bed for day 2 of training tomorrow.

Night!

Rain!!!!

We finally got some rain tonight!! I am happy, happy, happy!!!

Also, tonight was another Bible study night and it was GREAT!!! I would love to quote many of the verses I've highlighted but I know the last entry was lengthy so I'll keep this one short.

Tonights topic: Jesus will return to judge the living and the dead.

I really do enjoy reading about and discussing this topic, but I wont lie, sometimes it makes me a little uneasy. Although I think its maybe normal because its the unknown. Sure, we can read about it in the Bible, but until it happens, we really have no idea what it will actually be like. No precedent has ever been set.

Anyway - back to some thoughts.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-5:11. Some pieces:

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God...And so we will be with the Lord forever...let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breatplate and the hope of salvation as a helmet." I like the description of the coming...I picture it as a loud, chaotic moment where many a people get the "deer in the headlights" look while others are relieved that the time has come.

Hebrews 9:28
"so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him." ooooh!! Pick Me! Pick Me!! I am surely waiting!! It is comforting to know that Jesus died to declare me not guilty in this trial of life and I still get to go to heaven!!


There's more but I am going to stop there for now. My summarizing thoughts on tonights Bible Study are this:

While my grandpa's passing is still a recent event, I am growing more and more thankful of the grace God has shown all of us. In a strange way, his passing almost strengthened my faith and made me more sure of what I believe. I have developed what I call "Heaven Envy" I am officially coining that term! (Unless someone else already has, in which case, I say, "Show me proof!!!") lol Anyway - heaven envy is this: I am very envious of my grandpa, because the victory is truly his. He is the one who is with our Savior. He is the one who is living a pain free, joyful and exuberant life in Heaven. I am envious that he has left the sinful world to a more pure world. So, while the thought of the "Judgment Day" still might cause a little unrest, I know that I will be the one with the look of relief on my face. I will be relieved that Jesus has finally come to reunite me and my family with the loved ones who have preceded us and most importantly, to live a life in heaven. If you want to look for me, I will be the one doing the Happy Dance!!

So I've been thinking

wow. My mind is tired lately. And its not just because I did not get enough sleep last night from an interesting experience. I've been doing a lot of good reading which has led me to do a lot of good thinking.

In just one day last Thursday I had a lot of epiphanies about my life. I went to a Bible Study that was great and I really took notice about God's eternal and perfect love for us, for me, for you, for everyone. We mainly looked at Jesus' Exaltation. Some passages that really stood out for me are:

John 20:29 "Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." I am very much a seeing is believing kind of girl, so it has sometimes been very hard to wrap my mind around believing something that I have not seen. Yet, when I finally let myself believe, I feel overwhelming joy and security in my life.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." The key words I highlighted "ALL THINGS, FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM" That means that in all the difficult, confusing, and even happy, joyous and loving times God is working for the good of ME!! Going through the divorce was hard, but I now realize that it was God working in my heart preparing me to be the person I need to be for his glory. It gave me strength I never knew I had.

Which leads into the next epiphany of that day. I went to a local watering hole with a friend to hang out and play some volleyball in the sand pit outside. Little did I know it would be more of a mini class reunion! I saw people I haven't seen in years and it was great! It used to be hard for me to tell people I got a divorce, but its not anymore. Well, I was talking to an old friend, who, coincidentally broke up with her boyfriend of a few years that night. She told me something that made me think. She told me that she never understood why I was with X. She said that I deserve better and will find better. Hmmm.....is it too selfish or boastful to say I AGREE???? I'm not saying I'm better, (well.....) but what I am saying is that I want someone who will better share my morals, beliefs and above all who I can trust.

Which leads into my day today! I got up, missed one church service so I quickly hopped online and found another church in the are in which I could go to. I went and the sermon was all about God's love for us! For me, the sinful, sometimes ungrateful, and sometimes lost child. It was great.

THEN - just when you thought my epiphanies were over!! I promise I'm almost done! Its just been a while since an update.....

I started reading this book "A Man Worth Waiting For." I kid you not, its like the book was written TO me, FOR me, in my current state!! The author is talking about waiting for a man like Boaz, (read: who took Ruth in and cared for her after her husband died, eventually married her), instead of settling for a (you're going to love this punch line) a Bozo. So, we're looking for a Boaz, not a Bozo. She has already talked about the un-Godly men in this world. The ones who will not treat you right because they do not have that relationship with God to know how to treat a fellow God believing person. I wish I could go into more detail because even though I am only 27 pages into this book, it has really changed my outlook on a lot. It is phenomenal thus far!! I am going to close with a poem she wrote:

Don't Settle
I hope you don't consider me to meddle,
When I say "Don't settle."
Have you heard my heart scream?
Don't give up your dream.
So many have settled for Prince Harming,
Rather than courageously wait for Prince Charming
Settling for a Bozo,
whose heart will be a no-show.
Despairing over your absent knight in shining armor
Will escort you into the arms of a carnival charmer
Your Designer has dreamed much better for you,
Don't settle for a man who cant love you through and through.

I love the line, "Your Designer has dreamed much better for you" - does this not speak directly to me and my situation? God sure does work in mysterious ways, but I am taking notice. I am setting my sights forward and high, and no longer will I settle, especially out of fear of loneliness for anything short of a Boaz.

Grace

"How you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. And, so it is with life, which for many of us becomes one big gigantic tests followed by one big gigantic lesson. In the end, it all comes down to one word. Grace. Its how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, the darkness and the light."

I did not write this so I am not taking credit for it, but I absolutely love this passage. I think it speaks volumes about life and how you handle it.

Lately I've encountered some situations that make me uneasy, but I'm trying to move past them and remember this passage. I would like to believe that I have that grace. Grace to get through the good and bad and make it out the other side holding my head high.

I try to remember that I am indeed a good person and that one day all of my hopes for the future will fall into place. But, for that I have to rely on a different grace. God's Grace. I hope that with my grace and His, we can put this puzzle back together that is my life!

You'll Be There

This song used to remind me of my past. Of a time which I do not look back upon fondly.

However, as luck would have it, I heard this song yesterday playing on the radio as I drove back from dropping off my family at the airport in Green Bay.

I listened to the words and some tears were shed. I thought of my grandpa.

Hope is an anchor and love is a ship, time is the ocean and life is a trip
You don't know where you're going, ‘till you know where you're at
And if you can't read the stars, well you better have a map
A compass and a conscience, so you don’t get lost at sea
Or on some lonely island, where no one wants to be

From the beginning of creation, I think our maker had a plan
For us to leave these shores and sail beyond the sand
And let the good light guide us through the waves and the wind
To the beaches in a world where we have never been
And we'll climb up on a mountain, y'all we'll let our voices ring
Those who've never tried it, they'll be the first to sing

Whoa, my, my
I'll see you on the other side
If I make it
And it might be a long hard ride
But I’m gonna take it
Sometimes it seems that I don’t have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know that I wanna go
Where the streets are gold
‘Cause you'll be there
Oh, my , my

You don’t bring nothing with you here
And you can’t take nothing back
I ain’t never seen a hearse, with a luggage rack
So I've torn my knees up prayin’
Scarred my back from fallin’ down
Spent so much time flying high, till I’m face first in the ground
So if you're up there watchin’ me, would you talk to God and say,
Tell him I might need a hand to see you both someday

Whoa, my, my
So I'll see you on the other side
If I make it
And it might be a long hard ride
But I’m gonna take it
Sometimes it seems that I don’t have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know that I wanna go
Where the streets are gold
‘Cause you'll be there
Oh, my , my
Cause you'll be there
Oh, my ,my

These words truly spoke to me as I drove. Again I am amazed at how God is making me take notice.

I continued the drive and came to 2 rainbows. 2!!! The sign of the promise to never flood the earth again. God is good.

"Sometimes it seems that I don’t have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know that I wanna go
Where the streets are gold
‘Cause you'll be there"

I love you grandpa - and I cannot wait to see you in heaven someday so you can tell me more stories!!!

Looking Back

I sat here contemplating the last week and as I look back I realize that a lot of the week is fuzzy.

I know that I sat through the visitation for my grandfather for 4 hours on Tuesday night.

I know that I went to the funeral and burial on Thursday.

I can remember the day, the emotions and the scenes.

But, at the time I look back and feel like I was in a daze. When the funeral director told me and my cousins (all 35-40 of us, including spouses and children) to walk up together and pay our last respect it was hard. Here we all were. We have spent countless hours laughing, joking around, and being kids and now we're all grown up saying goodbye to our grandpa. It was a reality check to see us all mourning such a great man. Then it was our parents turn. Then we followed our parents into the church for the service.

I looked through the service folder and 3 of my favorite hymns were included. While the message and songs were of great comfort, these songs will now hold new meaning. I didnt sing parts of them. I was trying to fight back tears and all my emotions.

Then we followed the casket out and walked to the cemetary. The pastor said some words and a prayer and I just stood there. We all got a rose from his casket. It was so hard to see my grandmother so upset. She sat in front of his final resting place and it was rough.

Throughout the day, I kept telling myself that that it is just his body. He is in heaven. He is walking, he no longer has to take his blood sugar 3x a day, he is laughing, he is with his baby boy that only lived 9 months. He is no longer in pain.

I'm now back spending time with my grandma and am happy with how well she is doing. I know that this is a very difficult time for her, but I think she knows what we all know. He didnt deserve to go through all the pain and suffering he did. He was a good man.

Theres only one thing left to do now. Believe. Believe in the truth that God sent his son to save us. Believe that one day I will be reunited with my grandpa in a place where there is no more sadness and no more tears. Believe that God is in control and it is up to me to surrender my plans to his.

Amen.

The inevitable happened

My grandfather passed away today.

My head has rationed it completely and I know that he is in a better place.

My heart however is aching.

I found this out at 1:30 today and had to get ready for a sub for a week. Then come to this house and pack everything up.

As I look back, I think it was God reminding me that he is in ultimate control. I have prayed every night that my grandpa makes it through the end of the school year. But, today he reminded me that he has a plan much greater than mine and it is for the best.

I start the drive tomorrow and will hopefully be in Wisconsin by Monday afternoon.

Coming Clean

I admit it.

I cant do it.

I came across this picture tonight as I was looking for pictures of my classroom and students for a project for them and I lost it. I have never had to deal with the loss of someone so close. I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that next time I go to Grandma and Grandpas it will be just Grandma.

I need strength. I need prayers. I need support.

Its the Little Things

Whoever made themselves famous with this quote is a very smart person. Theres a lot of truth to this statement for me.

Yesterday at Wal Mart while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled I was passing through the CD secition and struck gold! Well, maybe not gold, but I found the Rush of Fools CD for less than 10 bucks! I had been accustomed to a few of their songs and love their sound, but I completely fell in love with most of the other songs on the CD.

Its almost like the CD was waiting there for me. Once again, someone is watching out for me. See, I got a new update about my grandpa and its really not looking good right now. They're going to "comfort" meds instead of meds that keep him going on a daily basis. Gulp.

This music really has brought me some comfort. I know that I am nowhere near prepared for this to happen, as much as I think I have tried to be. Nor am I prepared to go through the traveling, waking up the morning of the funeral, sitting in my favorite church and experiencing everything. Theres a pit in my stomach thinking about it.

This is what I am grateful for though: I am grateful for a loving family both here and in WI, I am grateful for the friends I have, especially those who I can count on for spiritual support, and I am grateful for having the amazing opportunity to spend so much time with my grandpa and be a part of his amazing life. The one regret? I am sure I was only able to barely scratch the surface of knowing him and his achievements, life lessons and advice.

And on that note - I'm off to tackle a pile of papers to grade. Or, get some sleep I feel horrible from a cold that wont go away.