So I've been thinking

wow. My mind is tired lately. And its not just because I did not get enough sleep last night from an interesting experience. I've been doing a lot of good reading which has led me to do a lot of good thinking.

In just one day last Thursday I had a lot of epiphanies about my life. I went to a Bible Study that was great and I really took notice about God's eternal and perfect love for us, for me, for you, for everyone. We mainly looked at Jesus' Exaltation. Some passages that really stood out for me are:

John 20:29 "Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." I am very much a seeing is believing kind of girl, so it has sometimes been very hard to wrap my mind around believing something that I have not seen. Yet, when I finally let myself believe, I feel overwhelming joy and security in my life.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." The key words I highlighted "ALL THINGS, FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM" That means that in all the difficult, confusing, and even happy, joyous and loving times God is working for the good of ME!! Going through the divorce was hard, but I now realize that it was God working in my heart preparing me to be the person I need to be for his glory. It gave me strength I never knew I had.

Which leads into the next epiphany of that day. I went to a local watering hole with a friend to hang out and play some volleyball in the sand pit outside. Little did I know it would be more of a mini class reunion! I saw people I haven't seen in years and it was great! It used to be hard for me to tell people I got a divorce, but its not anymore. Well, I was talking to an old friend, who, coincidentally broke up with her boyfriend of a few years that night. She told me something that made me think. She told me that she never understood why I was with X. She said that I deserve better and will find better. Hmmm.....is it too selfish or boastful to say I AGREE???? I'm not saying I'm better, (well.....) but what I am saying is that I want someone who will better share my morals, beliefs and above all who I can trust.

Which leads into my day today! I got up, missed one church service so I quickly hopped online and found another church in the are in which I could go to. I went and the sermon was all about God's love for us! For me, the sinful, sometimes ungrateful, and sometimes lost child. It was great.

THEN - just when you thought my epiphanies were over!! I promise I'm almost done! Its just been a while since an update.....

I started reading this book "A Man Worth Waiting For." I kid you not, its like the book was written TO me, FOR me, in my current state!! The author is talking about waiting for a man like Boaz, (read: who took Ruth in and cared for her after her husband died, eventually married her), instead of settling for a (you're going to love this punch line) a Bozo. So, we're looking for a Boaz, not a Bozo. She has already talked about the un-Godly men in this world. The ones who will not treat you right because they do not have that relationship with God to know how to treat a fellow God believing person. I wish I could go into more detail because even though I am only 27 pages into this book, it has really changed my outlook on a lot. It is phenomenal thus far!! I am going to close with a poem she wrote:

Don't Settle
I hope you don't consider me to meddle,
When I say "Don't settle."
Have you heard my heart scream?
Don't give up your dream.
So many have settled for Prince Harming,
Rather than courageously wait for Prince Charming
Settling for a Bozo,
whose heart will be a no-show.
Despairing over your absent knight in shining armor
Will escort you into the arms of a carnival charmer
Your Designer has dreamed much better for you,
Don't settle for a man who cant love you through and through.

I love the line, "Your Designer has dreamed much better for you" - does this not speak directly to me and my situation? God sure does work in mysterious ways, but I am taking notice. I am setting my sights forward and high, and no longer will I settle, especially out of fear of loneliness for anything short of a Boaz.