Lessons Learned

A phone call this week from someone in the past really made me think about the path my life has taken in the past 2 years.

2 years ago I was not aware of the heartache, pain and lets not forget the triumphs that would come later. Never would I have imagined that I would have gotten a divorce, went back to teaching and moved back to AZ. As I look back I realize that there is a plan greater than my own in place, and sometimes we have to reach the lowest points in our life to climb out and reach the highest. In the midst of my unhappiness, I was being shaped into the person I am today. I am not only happier than I've ever been, I am enjoying my life like never before. I am confident in myself, my career and my abilities. Am I the best? No, but I am ok with that.

So, move aside world, a brand new Melissa is here and I am ready to take on whatever challenges come my way.

Life

So many meanings, so many emotions, so many feelings.

Today I have experienced and seen such a variety of stages in this wonder called life.

I saw the innocence of my students and appreciated their pure view of the world and life. Their innocence is captivating and as we sit in room C-7 all day, we allow ourselves to go on with our life as if there was no bad out there. I try to protect them from it and worry about them in the coming years.

I was notified that my grandpa is in the final stages of kidney failure. After which I went to wikipedia and discovered that this all leads to mortality.

I've told myself time and time again that I am ready for this, but am I? Am I truly prepared to face the reality of life without my grandpa here in this world? How do I begin to say goodbye to a man that has been such a strong person in the face of so much struggle? I have been holding onto a ticket to go back to Wisconsin for the past month. I leave in just 3 weeks, but will that be in time? Only one person knows and I hope that it is.

Then I think about my life. I feel like I have made so many positive changes in my life lately and am happier than I've ever been, but theres still something missing. No, its not a boyfriend/husband, I am happy being single and being me. I dont know whats missing, but I feel like my life is not complete yet. humph......

Maybe I can learn something from my grandpa and the life he has lived thus far. After all, raising 8 kids and babysitting over 25 grandkids here and there is quite the task. He has always been so positive and upbeat - even in the face of health problems, numerous surgeries and plenty that someone can get depressed about. I only hope that I am that happy when I am in my 80s.

If you are the praying kind, please say an extra one for me, my grandpa and family that we maintain strength in what may be a very trying time ahead.