A couple Dents in my fender Part II

So yesterday on my way home from school I stopped over at my brothers house to say hi as I do on occasion. He was home along with my sister in law and niece. We were all just hanging out and talking then my niece called me into the computer room. She was sooooo excited to show me a music video of her new favorite song.

Surprise...surprise....it was Free to Be Me - the song I wrote about not too long ago. We sat there, her on my lap and sang the song with the video. It was beyond ADORABLE watching her sing that song. She was excited to hear that the song is my ring tone as well.

It was cute - I just smiled inside and out because I know what the song means to me, but it was fun to see her do her thing with the song. :o)

The little pleasures in life are sometimes the best!

Washington D.C. Pictures

For those who dont know - I am a big History nerd, so even though I've been to D.C. once before, it was fun to be back!



Abraham Lincoln's hat



The Washington Monument and the WWII Memorial




Found my Grandpa on the registry at the WWII memorial.




The U.S. Capitol



The Lincoln Memorial from the WWII Memorial



Lincoln up close




The White House - notice the green fountain for St. Patty's Day.




Sunset in Washington D.C.

Friendships

It has been way too long since I've had a post. It isnt for lack of things happening though, thats for sure!

I had off for a much needed Spring Break a week ago. My dear friend Sara whom I met in Washington had a ticket laying around from all of her hard work for Southwest so she passed it on and I was leavin on a jet plane to Baltimore to see her new digs up there. I left early Saturday morning and was happy to be in a new place. It was raining and cold when I got there so it kind of reminded me of our days in Washington. I had to break out sweaters and jackets that hadnt seen play time since living in Washington!

Anyway - during our time together, we were able to see the Naval Academy (she was married there and her hubby went there), spent a day in Washington D.C. and caught up with each others crazy lives. I think I've said it before but the people I met in Washington are so important to me, and they are some of the BEST people I know. I met some genuine, good natured, friendly people there and I do miss them all GREATLY!! Sara forever changed my life for the better, playing a huge role during the crazy transitions I went through up there.

While some of the people I've met in Washington are the BEST ever, how I met them has put a damper on our friendships. Most of them I've met through our common connection with the Navy. It was wonderful to have that in common at the time but it has almost doomed our chances of ever living by each other again. ugh!

I saw a quote once about not just having "one" best friend. I wish I could remember it, but anyway - I think its true. You have a friend who you can call to cry with, another one to laugh with, another one who will go yell at someone up who has hurt you, another one who will just sit and talk with you, etc. I feel so grateful that I have the people in my life that I do. God has truly blessed me in many ways. While I may not have realized it at the time, moving to Washington and going through a divorce was all part of his master plan to introduce me to certain people, and shape me into the person I am today.

A Couple Dents in my fender

Do you ever sit back and wonder what the plan is for your life? Or, maybe your life has been zooming by at lightning speed and all of a sudden you look back and think..."What am I doing? What are my goals again? Why have I not done X, Y or Z?"

I feel like sometimes my life is just speeding past due to my crazy schedule through the week. A lot of times I'm just trying to stay on top of my school duties, that I'm more "living in the moment" rather than focused on the future. If anyone knows me, they know this is NOT how I like to go about things. I like to have a plan. A very distinct plan, knowing where I'm going, when I will get there, who will be there, etc.

I heard this song on the radio the other day and I immediately related to it, so much that it is a little scary. The part in bold is what sticks out most to me. I sometimes feel like what I am doing is not enough compared to what others are doing for God, for their faith, for their church, etc. At 20, I definitely did think that I had it all figured out, that somehow everything would magically happen in my life and be put together like a puzzle, all the pieces would fit perfectly.

But as the song says, I have a couple dents in my fender (due to my bumpy road in the past), a couple rips in my jeans, and I'm trying to put the puzzle pieces together. Perfection is definitely my enemy. I have to remember that I cannot do it all on my own, I need to trust a little more in God. Call me crazy, but I now have trust issues in my life due to my past and it bothers me that I have trouble trusting that God will take care of my life. It is truly a big struggle for me to let go of my plans and trust God. This song helps put things in perspective though. Its a good one. :o)



Album: My Paper Heart
Artist: Francesca Battistelli

At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

(Chorus)
‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt

(Chorus)

And you’re free to be you

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe
Even though

(Chorus)

13.1 miles of road less traveled

I woke up this morning to the thought of "Man....last week at this time I was getting ready to do the 1/2 marathon. I'm crazy!!!" lol

As I look back on last Sunday it really was a challenge. As we waited to start, I said a few prayers to myself asking that God give me the strength and the will to cross the finish line. I really had no clue how this day would go. I knew in my mind that the will was there to finish, I so badly wanted to show people I could do it. A few more prayers were said along the way as I felt my strength fading and my pain increasing. While it was not easy, I am happy to report that I did do all 13.1 miles. We started in downtown Phoenix and ended up in Tempe. Crossing the finish line was a very happy moment in my life. I think this is by far one of the greatest challenges I've faced and conquered. So far that is...

Call me crazy, but I have another one in mind to do this September. I am hoping that now I have one under my belt, the second will be much easier, especially if I properly prepare for it.

As for my life....Life is...well...as usual...Busy! I'm working, working, working and saving, saving, saving, hoping to buy a house in the near future. Hopefully God's plans are in line with mine on that one too. Until then, I am content where I am.

Heres to another week!

Lions and Tigers and Babies, Oh My!

One of the things that brings me a lot of happiness in life is seeing my friends happy. Or just seeing my friends - period. The way our lives have gone, this has proven to be a very difficult feat at times so this past week was a lot of fun.

A friend from Georgia flew into town for a few days. It had been a year since I saw her, but about 4 years since the group of us had all been in the same place at the same time. Needless to say - it was about time that we all ended up in the same area!!

We had a baby shower for our best girl Ginger and it was nice. It is so good to see her happy and getting "motherly." It gave me the warm fuzzies. :o) That and the fact that we were together again to help celebrate the next happy occasion in our lives made me feel truly blessed. I can see that we have all matured so much in our own lives because of the stuff we've dealt with individually and I think we are all better friends for each other because of it. We've learned that no one is perfect and life is rough but thats what friends are for and thats when we should rely on them the most. Thats what I've learned anyway.

I am excited for this baby to arrive - I feel like I will get to be an aunt again!

Of course our time together came to an end, and unfortunately I was sick (and still am) for most of it, but it was still fun!

It should be illegal...

to get the flu over vacation!!! Seriously!! I'm going to whine here for a minute. I had the worst fever I've had in YEARS last night. I had the heat cranked to 74, I was in sweats, and under 3 blankets, yet still had the chills. My skin was burning up but I had the chills. Compound that with a sore throat and I was miserable. I finally got up to take some Tylenol to try and break the fever, put a cold rag on my forehead and at least I was able to fall asleep. This morning I didnt feel much better and I havent really improved over the day. I am still house sitting and this is what I have learned about myself when being sick and living on your own:

I love my mommy and desperately wanted someone to get me soup and bring me stuff. I know - its child like, but really...theres nothing better than your mom bringing you soup and taking care of you when youre sick. Getting you water, OJ, tylenol, etc. I wished I had someone around even more when I realized I dont have soup or OJ or medicine out here to take. Needless to say I was a tad on the grumpy side today while not feeling well. I took my grumpy, grungy self to the store though and got some soup. Things are looking up.

Even though I am sick, I have realized (yet again) how blessed I am to have the family I have. We may not have always had the latest toys, most expensive bikes, or coolest cars when we turned 16, but my family has the love. My mom was always there to take care of us, whether she was working at the time or not. My dad was always there for the "rational" support as I like to call it. And everyone was there at night for dinner. My parents did so much for us and I am thankful for the loving family (and extended) family I feel privileged to be a part of.

Christmas

Matthew 1:23

Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. (KJV)

Looking back on the past week, I am so very happy with how my Christmas went. I think too often people get caught up in the gift giving aspect of the holiday but this year it was so much more for me.

On Christmas Eve I went to church with my mom, dad and little brother. It is usually one of my favorite services all year. It was again this year, although it was much harder. At the very end of the service every year the church sings Silent Night. Every year the first verse is sang in German, seeing that the Lutheran religion has its roots from German reformer Martin Luther. Anyway...my grandpa always used to sing it for us and tell us how to pronounce the words because it definitely is not easy. Well, for us. He was confirmed in German so it was easy for him! Anyway, so I know that its coming and I try not to think about it throughout the whole service, but then the music starts and my eyes tear up. I'm the first in my family to cry. Then the wax spilled on my pants from the candle, then my mom burned herself trying to get a tissue for me. Then I look over and see tears rolling down my dads face and by the last verse my brother had a moment. I'm sure we looked like a crazy bunch in that row! It is the first Christmas without my grandpa and it was very emotional. I spent many Christmas Eve nights and Christmas days with my grandparents here in Arizona and I am thankful for those memories.

So after church we went back to my parents house and met up with my older brother and his family. We opened gifts that night from my parents and each other. It was a nice evening together. My parents gave us a beautiful ornament in memory of my grandpa with his name and years of life on it. My little brother got Guitar Hero so him and I were up until about 2 am playing that which was fun. I'm definitely looking forward to him graduating and moving closer so we can hang out more.

Christmas day was more laid back. I slept in, and even took a nap then went over to my parents. My little brother spent the day with his girlfriend and their family and my other brother spent the day with his wife's side of the family. It ended up being a great day. It was very laid back, relaxed and filled with good conversation. We ate our Christmas meal, talked about purchasing homes, relived memories of years gone by and enjoyed each others company. We also talked about my grandparents a lot and played a good game of cribbage.

It was one of the most memorable Christmas' ever and its not because of the gifts received or given, it was because of the time spent with family along with memories remembered and created.

Was this Christmas difficult? Absolutely. However, it also brings to the forefront the reminder that Jesus Christ was born and he is the reason we can find comfort in the times of pain and remember that if it had not been for his perfect life and death my grandfather would not be enjoying eternal life in heaven right now. And that is the comfort that I rely on to get me through the holidays and hard times when I really wish my grandpa was around.